Out on the town alone

Many people might not know that the whole reason I started dating again was because "I wanted to share my life with someone." I was not really looking for relationships or love, just I guess companionship. Fortunately I was bless with a gift. I met a great man, who is everything I ever wanted and more. Okay enough with that mushy stuff.

However tonight he was busy and I had not one, but two parties to go to. I know! I too am not sure what is more surprising, that Turlock had two parties or that I was invited to both!!! Anyways, the first one was a 60th surprise party. A dear old friend of my fathers. I went and talked to many of the oldies but goodies. ( you know the parents friends that you know so well you have called them "aunt and uncle" and also know that they would take you in if ever need be. ) Well it was fine. I hung out and mingled with them. Basically I caught them up on my sister's and my life and found out what is going on in their children's lives. But I made my way out as dinner was being severed.

It was the early hour of 7:30 on a Saturday night as I find the address of second party, a wedding reception. I pull up and kinda hit myself in the head. I should have recognized the address. It was a former teacher of mine from high school's house. I later worked and got fired from her, so needless to say she is not my most favorite person. I grit my teeth and march up to the house. As I walk in I realize it a gathering of old teachers of mine. Mostly ones I can call by name but don't have a thing in common with. And here is where I started to wish I had my partner in crime. I snag the first person and only other person I wanted to say hi too,besides the bride. We chat but it is strained. Another former teacher comes to join us but she confused on who I am. I make an excuse and vacate to relieve every one's discomfort. I find a quick path to the bride and say my hello. She is happy to see me and wants me to re-meet her kids. They don't know who I am and we say our awkward hellos. She is more then busy as the bride of the reception so she leaves me in a dust of which I understand. I then stand there not having a sole to talk to-not even a date. And here is where the whole thing comes full circle. I started dating to not have to do this horrible dance again. I am not faulting him for being busy, I am just alone and wanting him to be by my side.

But more times then not he is up for any adventure I throw his way. Only he and the Lord know what crazy things we get into.

Updating and Reconnecting

So much has happened in the last 9 months! Many of you who will read this already know 99% of what has happened so I wont bore you with the details. So as of today....

If you know anything about me you know that I really dislike and really do hate being alone. Trust me, I am not the wimpy person who is afraid of the world and can't stand on my own two feet. It is just that I really do get depressed being on my own for any length of time. So it was ironic that today I chose to be on my own. I parked my butt in front of my dvr and busted out my neglected scrap booking stuff. This where I stayed for 4 hours only getting through a few pages of pictures and episodes of Oprah. Many of you are thinking-"that show has been over for months". And you are right. I am just now getting to watch them. The very last one was deeply touching. Even a non-Oprah fan could see great points in this show. (If you did not see it WATCH IT) Even hours later I am still moved by the ideas and messages she was trying to convey. I plan to tape it and watch it often. As I watched it I wish I had my students to show this to. It was that moving.

If you watched it then and have forgotten, or missed it completely, this was my favorite points.

Take responsibility for yourself.

After I typed this one as my favorite I changed my mind. There were to many that were favorites. So here are a few more....

Be worthy of your gift.

Inspire others to be their best.

I would love to share my points of veiw on all of these great ideas but you would spend the rest of your life here reading my soapbox words. So just ask me if you want to know. I would really love to hear you ideas in a conversation too.

As I continue to adjust to my new life style change, I ponder how I can do these things that I use to use as creative outlets, and teaching tools. Besides my children who else can I inspire? How do you take responsibility when you feel like you have so much more to share? Feeling that guilt how can I be worthy of the gift that has been given to me?

So as I seek out my answers in life, I will keep you posted. Thank you again for coming back to this blog just as I have.

With my love,

Hayley